I was raised in the Deep South, conditioned at a young age to venerate the Confederate cause. As we viewed it, there was no deep-seeded controversy present for us, only a gauzy notion of early battlefield success in a conflict that could have been fought fifteen years before, not one-hundred fifty. What it really was is quite simple: a healthy dose of inferiority complex undisguised as defiance. It was sympathy for the underdog, no more, no less. In the same breath, I recognize that the conflict that tore this country apart all that time ago is much more than that. I understand how offensive it is for many people to even hint at throwing one’s support and sympathy behind a declared nation, never formally recognized, that supported a shameful legacy.
Still, that’s never how it was framed or explained to me or to many others. It is certainly true that the Civil War was fought over slavery, and I want to underscore that I write today not to defend it. But on this Memorial Day, which was once celebrated as Decoration Day, where the graves of Northern and Southern soldiers were adorned with peaceful offerings, let us pause to celebrate the bravery of sacrifice on the battlefield. Or, failing that, let’s hang our heads collectively at the absurdity of war and of lives lost. If we believe in courage, even if violence is surely not the answer to resolving disputes, even in misplaced logic, there must be ample portions of what we might deem “courage” depending on what side we support.
I briefly return to my beginnings. What we often forget about today is how high the odds against a Southern victory were from the very outset. It was an extreme gamble from the beginning, and it’s amazing that a rebellion this audaciously stacked in favor of one side of combatants lasted five long years. If we are to be fair, there are great lost causes in many places throughout the world. The Taiwanese lost to Mao’s Red Chinese and yet they have never forgotten, even though China sees them formally as a rogue state. Wars are over and yet they are not over, as they remain alive in the minds of the people who fought them, either in uniform or in the court of public opinion.
Confederate monuments and signs of the grand lost cause have been coming down over the past several months. The larger trend has been in place for decades. Part of me is glad to see the signs of an ignoble past being removed from public display. Regional pride also factors in, too. If you weren’t raised in one of the states in rebellion, with the indoctrination wrapped tightly around feelings of deep insecurity, I doubt you’ll really understand. No one wants to admit that their side came up short, either politically or extracurricularly. On a much more facile level, people love to play “what if” when it comes to their favorite sports team or political candidate. Humans are competitive beings, and most of us hate to lose.
Some of us have a major complex in this country about Vietnam, the humiliating notion that a fourth-rate power was able to absorb and defeat the collective military might of the world’s foremost superpower. What we can learn today is that the demise of the South shows us all a lesson about hubris and humility. We may not have learned it, even in the 21st Century. Learning from the past would require a kind of introspection and willingness to be vulnerable that makes many people uncomfortable and resistant to acknowledge.
Like many liberals, I’m resistant to wave the flag on days like these. I observe the way that patriotism has been used to manipulate and destroy, to subjugate and to denigrate. The American Civil War showed two paradoxical viewpoints that could not exist simultaneously. President Abraham Lincoln talked about this very notion in this Second Inaugural Address. As he put it, both people, North and South, prayed to the same God and believed in the surety of their cause. This is what faces us now in these polarized times, where both sides, liberal and conservative, believe in their own opinions and their own facts.
And with that said, may we memorialize this weekend in a different way. The conventional narrative would have us believe in white hats versus black hats, as though the world was a cowboy Western, where good always triumphs over evil. If only life were that simple. And on that note, it is not treasonous to suggest that this country does not observe and has never possessed a kind of infallibility, or to contradict the notion that it has never erred or sinned. The real sworn enemies of this country (not immigrants or Muslims) are consumed with their own spite and bile and guile, and some of it is our fault.
Slavery, after all, was enabled by the entire United States for at least a century. Products of slavery, cane sugar being one, were consumed by many Americans who might have found the practice morally objectionable. It’s not a challenge to find an incriminating six degrees of separation regardless of partition or section of the country. Perhaps then what we should celebrate this Memorial Day is the willingness of people to do the right thing, casting aside the missteps of previous times. Away from the mind control and the authoritarian chest pounding is the fortitude to improve conditions on the ground for everyone. So let us raise the flag to the real patriots among us, the reformers and the fighters for justice. They, not camouflaged members of the armed forces, are who I celebrate when this holidays rolls around once again.